Second Time Around Read online

  “Please. Will you ask her if she can meet me at Jared’s tonight? About eight. Tell her it’s very important, Doris.”

  “You bet I will. Is it anything I might help with?”

  “Thanks, but I’m afraid not.”

  She hung up and stared fixedly out the window. How was she going to tell Jared that Quinn wanted to give their marriage another chance? It was going to kill him.

  Chapter Five

  Lanie climbed into the pickup and pulled the door closed behind her. It felt as if every muscle in her body had contracted into one huge painful knot. The feeling was becoming familiar to her. She’d been fighting tension since she’d first opened the court’s letter and discovered that she and Quinn were still married.

  With a sigh she leaned her head against the steering wheel and closed her eyes. For Zack’s sake she had to get a grip. Quinn was his father, and her son’s curiosity had been obvious all evening. But to her, what was more apparent were the wary glances Zack had been giving her. Even though his eyes had bubbled with hope, happiness and a thousand questions when he looked at Quinn, her normally exuberant son had, for the most part, remained silent. There could only be one explanation. Zack sensed her anger, her frustration, and he didn’t know how to react.

  She had to find a way to keep his world stable, even if it meant pretending she was happy to have Quinn on the ranch. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for Zack. He was her life, her baby, the only thing in the world that mattered to her. Which was why she’d finally agreed to marry Jared after four years of dating. He loved Zack as much as she did. Jared would make a wonderful father. He had all the qualities she wanted Zack to learn, qualities that would make her son a strong, honest man.

  And Jared loved her. Maybe she didn’t feel that flash fire of heat when he held her, but she’d changed since Quinn. Matured. She no longer expected or wanted fireworks. Jared made her feel safe, secure. He never raised his voice, never deliberately prodded her into anger. Jared would never leave her. He was steady as the Rock of Gibraltar, as eternal as the stars in the sky.

  Putting the truck in gear, she headed down the driveway. Not once since she’d been dating him had Jared tried to coerce her into sleeping with him. He respected her wish to wait until they were married, even though she knew he wanted her.

  He hadn’t even shown any irritation with her after she’d gotten the letter from the court informing her she was still married to Quinn. The letter shouldn’t have made any difference in her relationship with Jared, but it had. No matter what her head was saying, her heart was telling her she still had a husband and seeing Jared while married to Quinn was wrong. And it would stay wrong until everything was settled and the divorce became real.

  A niggling sense of uneasiness tickled the back of her mind, but she pushed it away. The fact that she’d refused to sleep with Jared had nothing to do with Quinn. It was her damn conservative upbringing, that was all. Jared understood. He’d continued to stop by for visits, but he hadn’t pressured her to be alone with him.

  She felt so guilty. She had seen the hurt lingering behind Jared’s smile when he looked at her, and knew she was the cause. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do. And now she would have to tell him that Quinn was demanding a chance to make their marriage work. Thank God Sara would be there. She wasn’t sure she’d have the courage to face Jared alone.

  The lights from her truck swept the yard as she turned up Jared’s drive, and picked up a reflection from the blue Volvo parked near the house. Relief rippled through her. Sara was already here.

  Jared must have been listening for her, because the front door opened before she turned the motor off, and he started down the steps toward her. He looked so familiar, so dear, that she had to fight the urge to break into tears. His thick blond hair was still a little damp from his shower, falling over his forehead in a shaggy mop. In the light spilling from the house she could see the concern etched on his ruggedly handsome face.

  Without a word, he opened his arms. Lanie threw herself into them, and they closed around her, warm and tight. His lips brushed her hair as she buried her face in his neck.

  “Sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’ve been going out of my mind since I got your message.” His big hands stroked her back, gentle and soothing. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded. “As much as possible under the circumstances.”

  He tilted her chin up and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “You sounded so upset that I almost headed straight for the ranch. What’s he doing here, Lanie?”

  A tear trickled down her cheek. “He wants Zack, Jared.”

  His slim body stiffened for an instant, then relaxed. “He can’t get him. No judge would take Zack away from you. You’re a wonderful mother.”

  She swiped at the tear. “Zack isn’t the only thing he wants.”

  Silence descended over the yard and his hand stilled on her back. “I see.” His tone was soft. “Want to tell me about it?”

  “I don’t think I can explain twice and I need Sara to hear it, too.”

  Lanie felt a sigh lift his chest. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  He hesitated a moment longer. “Okay, let’s get it over with.” Jared dropped his arms and stepped away from her, taking her hand in his large, warm one.

  A shiver rippled across her. If only it were simple enough that they could get it over with tonight. But she knew they couldn’t.

  Sara looked up as they came in and deposited her coffee cup on the table beside her. She was still wearing one of the trim suits that were her standard uniform at the office, and her black hair was pinned up in an elegant twist.

  Lanie leaned over and hugged her. “I’m sorry for dragging you out tonight. I know you’re probably tired.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s not like I had any plans, and Doris said you sounded upset.” She smoothed her skirt. “After hearing the message you left for Jared, I can understand why. Having Quinn suddenly show up after all this time must have been a shock. And knowing him, he wants something.”

  “He does.” She sank onto the couch and felt Jared’s solid weight settle next to her, one of his arms slipping around her waist. “You see, he didn’t know about Zack until a few days ago. I know that sounds strange, but you have to know Quinn’s father to understand.”

  For the next hour and a half she told them everything, Sara interrupting occasionally with questions. She couldn’t look at Jared, couldn’t stand to see the hurt in his eyes when she told them that Quinn wanted three months to try and make their marriage work. By the time she finished, her body felt limp, exhaustion draining all emotion until there was nothing left but numbness.

  “Can he do this, Sara? Can he force me into a trial marriage?”

  The lawyer cleared her throat. “Of course he can’t.” She leaned forward and took both of Lanie’s hands. “I’m going to give it to you straight, kid. You’ve got a choice to make, and you’re the only one who can make it. Say the word and I’ll file your divorce papers tomorrow, right along with a petition for custody. But—” She shot a quick glance at Jared. “There’s a chance Quinn could win. Knowledge of Zack was kept from him, even if you weren’t aware of it. The courts are big on father’s rights these days. And if he can prove what he told you about the ranch, you’ll certainly lose it. Furthermore, he could drag this out for years. Especially the custody battle. I know of cases that lasted eight or more years with the child in question going back and forth like a ping pong ball. As your friend and as your lawyer, my advice would be to take his deal. This could all be settled in three months. If we go through the system it will take longer than that anyway, and Zack will ultimately be the victim.”

  “She’ll do it.”

  Jared’s voice was harsh, raw with pain that sent an answering echo into her heart. “Jared, no. I need to think about it.”

  His hand moved up her back to cradle her nape, one thumb caressing the sk
in below her ear as he forced her to look at him. “No, you don’t. We both know you can’t do that to Zack.” He paused, his gaze searching hers. “Do you love me?”

  Lanie swallowed the lump in her throat. “You know I do.”

  “Do you plan on sleeping with him?”

  “No.” Tears welled in her eyes. “God, no.”

  “Then we can get through this.”

  “But I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispered.

  The smile he gave her was forced. “It hurts me more to see you torn in half like this. As long as I know you’ll come back to me when it’s over, I can survive. And you know I’ll be here if you need me. I’m not going to vanish just because McAllister wants me to.”

  “Lanie?” Sara was watching them both. “Is that what you want to do?”

  “No, but it seems I don’t have much choice after all. I’ll give Quinn his three months. For Zack’s sake.”

  * * * * *

  Jared stood on the porch, one hand propped above him on the post as he watched Lanie’s truck follow Sara’s sedan down the drive. An agony of fear knotted his stomach until he thought he was going to be sick.

  It had sounded so easy when McAllister offered him this chance. Just keep an eye on the man’s ex-daughter-in-law and grandson, make sure they were okay and didn’t need anything. In return, all his college loans were paid off and he got a practice handed to him on a silver platter. Easy.

  Until he’d seen Lanie McAllister for the first time, and known instantly that she was the woman he’d dreamed about his entire life. Known he’d found the woman he wanted to grow old with, to have a family with.

  And suddenly the job wasn’t easy anymore. Because Lanie had still loved her ex-husband. It had taken Jared four long, slow years of watching his every step before she’d finally agreed to marry him. Now, God help him, he was terrified that he was losing her. Because as much as she denied it, part of her loved McAllister and always would. He had been willing to accept that, even if it meant being second best. He loved her too much to live without her.

  But now McAllister was back. Lord, how he’d wanted to tell her to refuse McAllister’s deal, to fight the man until the end. He took a deep breath and turned back toward the house.

  Lanie was right. Even if it meant losing her, they had to protect Zack, the child he’d come to love to as his own. And he wasn’t going to simply step aside and make things easy for McAllister. He’d see Lanie every chance he got, remind her what they had together.

  And pray like hell she never discovered why he’d moved to Wyoming in the first place.

  * * * * *

  Quinn let the curtain drop back into place as the taillights from Lanie’s truck vanished down the drive. She’d stayed locked in the office most of the afternoon, only coming out when Martha had announced supper was ready. And even then, she’d ignored him, answering only when he’d asked her a direct question.

  A soft patter of bare feet and the sound of bells came from behind him and he turned. Zack was standing in the door, clutching a doll and watching him warily. His expression made Quinn’s stomach clench. He didn’t want the tension between him and Lanie to affect his relationship with his son.

  “Hi.” He kept his voice even. “I thought you were in bed.”

  “Mr. Jingles isn’t sleepy.” The little boy glanced around the room. “Where’s Duncan?”

  “He’s in the office setting up some equipment we brought.” Quinn moved to the couch and sat down. “Since Mr. Jingles isn’t sleepy, why don’t you come in and talk to me? I’m not sleepy either.”

  Zack didn’t need a second invitation. He ran across the room and climbed onto the couch beside Quinn, staring up at him in fascination. “Does your mama make you go to bed, too?”

  “She used to, when I was about your size. I think most moms do.”

  Zack edged a little closer. Apparently with Lanie gone, his curiosity had overcome his divided sense of loyalty. “Billy’s mom makes him go to bed.”

  “Is Billy your friend?”

  “My best friend in the world. Besides Daisy.” He rose up onto his knees and leaned forward. “Does that hurt?”

  “This?” Quinn pointed at the scar. “Not anymore.”

  “Can I touch it?”

  “Sure, if you want to.”

  Zack scrambled into his lap like he’d been doing it all his life and lifted one tiny finger to trace the line of scar tissue. Quinn desperately fought off the need to crush him in a hug, the effort sending a tremor through his body. He settled for running a tentative hand over the mop of dark hair.

  “How did you get hurt?”

  “In a car accident.”

  Gray eyes, so much like Lanie’s, looked at him seriously. “Is that why you never came to see me before, ‘cause you had an accident?”

  Pain worse than any he’d felt in his life streaked through him and his eyes closed in reflex. “No.” He could barely get the words out. “The accident happened before you were born.”

  He opened his eyes and looked at his son. “The truth is, I didn’t know about you until yesterday. Zack, if I had known you were here, I never would have stayed away.”

  Zack studied him for a moment. “You didn’t know I was borned?”

  “No.”

  “Are you going to stay here and be my daddy now?”

  “I’m going to be your daddy from now on, no matter where we are.”

  “Does that mean I’ll have two dads? ‘Cause Mama said Jared was going to be my daddy.”

  How could he answer a question like that when he planned on doing everything in his power to keep Lanie from marrying her fiancé? “Do you like Jared?”

  Zack squirmed until he was leaning back with his head on Quinn’s shoulder. “Jared is great.” His mouth gaped in a huge yawn. “He comes over and plays with me, and sometimes he takes me with him to work on sick animals. He says I’m the best helper he’s ever had.”

  Quinn let his arms close around the small body and buried his face in Zack’s hair. “It sounds like he loves you a lot, and you know something? You can never have enough people around who love you.”

  “Do you love me?” His eyelids were beginning to droop.

  Involuntarily, Quinn’s arms tightened. “More than anything else in the whole world,” he whispered, his voice scratchy.

  “Can I call you Dad?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Okay.” He snuggled tighter in Quinn’s arms and his eyes drifted shut. “You smell good,” he murmured. Abruptly, his body went limp and relaxed.

  Quinn took a deep, shaky breath, not even bothering to hide the tears that coursed down his cheeks. He knew he should take Zack back to bed, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Not yet. They had lost too much time already. Time that had scarred Zack as surely as the accident had scarred him. Both of them had a lot of healing to do. No, he amended, looking down at his son’s face. All three of them had a lot of healing to do. He only wished it could be as easy with Lanie as it was turning out to be with Zack.

  But he knew it wouldn’t. Even if Jared Harper weren’t on the scene, she wouldn’t trust him. She had been hurt too badly. Somehow, he was going to have to find a way to make it up to her. A way to convince her she still loved him as much as he did her. And he knew she did. She may have buried it so deep that she’d forgotten, but the kind of love they’d shared didn’t just fade with time. God knows, his hadn’t, no matter how hard he’d tried to kill it.

  A movement in the doorway caught his attention and he looked up as Duncan stopped.

  “That didn’t take long.” He nodded his head at Zack.

  “It’s a start, Dunc. I’m afraid it’s going to take a while before he really believes I won’t leave him again.” He kept his voice low enough not to disturb the child in his arms.

  “He will.” Duncan hesitated. “I couldn’t help overhearing part of the conversation. You did great with him, Quinn.”

  “I hope so. I don’t want to
hurt him anymore that he already has been.”

  “You handled it just right. Well, I’m done in the office. I’d like to start unpacking. Are you sure your wife won’t mind me staying in the house?”

  Quinn smiled ruefully. “She’d prefer both of us completely off the ranch and out of the state right now, but it’s not going to happen. Put your things in the room next to mine. I’m going to stay down here for a while.”

  “Okay. If you need me just beat on the wall or something. See you in the morning.”

  “Goodnight.”

  The house grew quiet around him as he examined his son, trying to memorize every minute detail. Zack’s pajamas were soft white cotton, sprinkled with images of horses and dogs. The pants were twisted around his waist, one leg bunched up around his knee to expose a sturdy shin with a small bruise in the middle.

  Even in sleep, the cleft in his chin, a legacy from his mother, was prominent, and Quinn smiled. He’d be willing to bet the boy was just as stubborn as Lanie, too. He didn’t know much about four-year-olds but he suspected Zack was tall for his age.

  Gently, he picked up one small hand and inspected it. The fingers were perfect, long and slender in spite of their babyish quality. A Band-aid with big yellow birds and blue monsters was wrapped around his thumb.

  The sound of the truck returning impinged on his consciousness, and he listened to Lanie’s steps crossing the porch. Had she made a decision? He braced himself as the front door opened.

  She came down the hall and into the room, making it halfway across before she came to a sudden stop, her gaze fixed on Zack. “What happened?”

  “Mr. Jingles couldn’t sleep, so Zack and I had a talk instead.” He was tempted to smile, but a glance at Lanie’s face changed his mind. She was pale and it looked as if she’d been crying.

  “A talk about what?”

  “Why I haven’t been around the last four years.”

  “Oh, God.” She shut her eyes briefly. “What did you tell him?”